Sorry

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I need to say sorry. I’ve been awfully ignorant and I feel bad. So this is my confession.

Last week, while my son and I were walking into a gas station, a guy drove up in a flashy sports car (yeah, I noticed the car) and he parked right beside the door as we walked up. He rushed to open the door to the gas station for me and my son and he smiled flirtatiously as I ushered my son inside. The dude was sending out some serious vibes. I merely smiled back and said thank you quickly and went on my way.

I’m sorry, young, hot guy with the nice car. I’m sorry I couldn’t stop to chat (which is usually what I’d do if I wasn’t with my son). I’m not usually as ignorant or rude as I may have seemed that day. But I was with my son. And my son is my only focus when I’m with him. We were in a rush because we were on our way out of the city and I was already late. Those are excuses and I had no reason to be so oblivious. Please consider this my apology.

If my son hadn’t been with me and I hadn’t been so wrapped up in my own world, I probably would have stopped for a moment to say a more genuine thank you and to ask about your car. Maybe that would have led to a longer conversation or maybe it wouldn’t have. Either way, I would have been more sincere and thoughtful instead of being so dismissive and rude.

One last thing I’d like to say to the hot guy who clearly sent out those flirty vibes, thank you. Thank you for making me feel good about myself and for helping me to realize I need to work on myself.

Sometimes, as mothers, we got lost in our lives. We forget that we, too, are worthy of attention. We give up being the center of attention to put our kids on a pedestal. For many years I’ve been unnoticeable as a person with her son by her side, but you didn’t make me feel old, frumpy, and invisible. You made me smile many hours later when you popped into my mind again later that day. And because you looked me straight in the eye, smiled flirtatiously, held the door open for me, and made me feel noticed, I realized that I am noticeable.

Thank you for that moment. Maybe it doesn’t have anything to do with you, but you were the catalyst to help me realize that I’m not only a mother. I’m so much more than just one title. Being a mother is important, but being me is just as important.