Managing My Home Plate – Why Are People So Rude??

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I have had it with people today. Everyone has been so fucking rude and demanding. 

And, to think, my day started off so well…

I woke up this morning to a text from one of the baseball moms telling me she knows it may be too late, but could I order a Team shirt for her son. No problem, that’s what I do because I’m the team manager. After a short conversation about our kids, I texted, I hope you guys have a great weekend! And she texted back that I was such a kind and thoughtful person for letting her order a shirt late. I indulged in the compliment for a few moments and smiled my way through the rest of this god damned day. 

Fast-forward to this afternoon. My son and I had some errands to run so we got MM to drop us off at the mall near our house. I ran into my aunt who asked for my son’s baseball schedule because she’s hoping to catch a game. I told her about the up-coming home tournament in July and gave her the dates. She told me to text her that weekend to remind her. I explained that I would try, but I couldn’t guarantee anything because MM coaches, son plays on two baseball teams and is on the field 5 days a week, and I manage the competitive team so we’re kinda busy and it might slip my mind. Right there, in the middle of the mall, she started scolding me about family obligations. To which I thought to myself, are you fucking kidding me right now?? The friend who was with my aunt, must have seen me roll my eyes into next week because she looked at my aunt and said, “maybe you could put it in your phone calendar so that you’ll remember.” Like a lightbulb going on, she lit up and replied, “oh, yeah, I guess I could.” And on that note, my son and I left. My mood had shifted. 

Then, when MM picked us up at the mall, I told him we were running late and that maybe he should go do what he needed to do and come back for us. For the second consecutive day, he snapped at me. To which I put him in his place and told him to stop being so damn rude. He snapped that he had about two hours of work ahead and he couldn’t waste time because he has a lot on his plate. Well, so do I. Everybody does. It’s called adulting. I explained to him that he didn’t have to be so mean just because he’s having a bad day. So the rest of our shopping trip was ruined by everyone’s bad moods. 

Don’t kid yourself into thinking that my day was over yet. The rude people in my life never fucking end. I’m starting to think I surround myself with the wrong kind of people. I sense a change coming in the near future. But I digress. 

After we dropped the kid off at his friends place for a sleepover, we were close to our old house so we thought we’d take a drive through our old neighbourhood. We noticed one of our old neighbours in her yard and stopped to say hello. As soon as she saw me, she squeezed my arm and said, “my goodness, you’ve put on some weight since you left the neighbourhood!” This woman obviously does not have a filter about anything. She’s critical, judgmental, and down-right rude. Thanks, mean neighbour lady, for reminding me that 40 has not been kind to me. The wrinkles, the weight, the grey hair…I mean, it’s not like I see it in the mirror every morning and I had almost forgotten. Seriously though, it’s been hard, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m not a waif-ish, anorexic 97lbs anymore. Age has a way of forcing you to accept the things you cannot change. Instead of starving myself, I’m now a healthy, happy yoga-loving 110lbs. This is who I am, lady. Accept me or go the fuck away. And thanks again for reminding me why I wanted to leave that community of judgey seniors.

Demanding, judgmental, self-absorbed, and fucking mean – these are the people I’ve had to deal with today. But I’m holding onto my morning conversation with the baseball mom because her conversation was the only one that has mattered to me. And I am grateful for that. 

Namaste, MFers. 

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It’s A Matter Of Respect

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Photo Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/xI_-wFJhCiM

Oh, how I hate weddings.

They bring out the worst in people. Everyone has an opinion. And nothing ever goes as planned. Everyone has this romanticized idea of how their wedding should be. I’ve been married twice and, believe me, nothing is ever perfect on that day or any other day that follows the wedding.

I was invited to a recent wedding and I always like to make an appearance even if I don’t plan to stay for the entire day/night. It’s my way of respecting others and showing support while staying within my comfort zone. I’m not a party girl anymore, and I barely drink. It’s useless for me to stay and ruin everyone else’s fun as the only sober person at the celebration, so I usually leave early after all the important stuff has been done.

I had planned to take my son with me as an excuse to leave early (as I always do). But the bride and groom didn’t specify that kids were not allowed at the wedding. Now, on the surface, it may seem that I’m against the idea of not inviting kids to weddings. But it’s not that simple.

First, even after I had RSVP’ed last month, I wasn’t told that kids weren’t invited. In my RSVP, I had explained that my son and I were very excited to share their day, yet nothing was said to me then that kids weren’t allowed to attend. I personally don’t care either way, if kids are invited or not, but don’t expect me to show up with 3 days notice to find a babysitter. No, I didn’t go.

Second, I made the mistake once of going to a wedding without my son only to find that other kids were there. I left my sick son with my parents for a week (because it was an out of province wedding) and I was livid to find other kids at the wedding. I vowed to never make that mistake again and to turn down any invitation that didn’t include my own kid. After all these years, I expect people to know that I come as a packaged deal. If they can’t respect that, they shouldn’t expect me to show up.

Lastly, I respect people. And I respect that some don’t want kids at their weddings. I have no problem with that. I will not bring my kid with me somewhere if he is not welcomed. But I find it hypocritical when the same people who invite me (and not my kid) get angry at me for not showing up. How’s that for respect?!

I didn’t have a kid so I could leave him at home all the time. My son is in my life so that I can share life’s experiences with him. And I will not leave him at home to go party with friends. I gave up that life when I had him and I have no desire to go back to my single party life. I’ve moved on and my life has changed. If others can’t respect that, fuck ’em.
*UPDATE: something good does, indeed, come from every bad situation. I used the money that we were going to give them as a wedding gift to purchase football tickets so my son will get to see his first live football game this summer!