Pre-Holiday Anxiety

The older I get, the less I look forward to Christmas. Every year is the same bullshit. 

My son is at that age when he questions whether or not Santa Claus is real. This isn’t a fun time for any parent. It’s been like this for two years now and I still don’t know if he believes or not. 

My family takes advantage of me. (Hello, Helen Griswold’s parents!) My sister-in-law barges into my house uninvited every holiday. (Hello, Cousin Eddie!) If something goes wrong, it’s my fault. But if it all goes swimmingly, MM usually gets credit. Life isn’t fair. 

My house is always full of people yet I’m the only one who cooks or cleans. (I am Helen Griswold.) They are here all day, but no one actually gets off their lazy ass to wash a dish in the sink. 

MM gets on my nerves because he disrupts my schedule. And he always forgets to do the things I ask of him so I end up doing it all anyway even though he says he’s there if I need help. Um, ok…? 

And everyone has this self-centered attitude where everything is about them. I spend a lot of time wrapping gifts for people who just complain that I “got the wrong colour.” Or that it isn’t exactly what they wanted but if I have the receipt, they’ll return it for the one they actually wanted. (Hello, Fruit of the Month Club subscription!) What ever happened to appreciating that I got you something at all?! A gift is a gift – it’s the thought that counts! Get over yourself and say thank you. 

I’m already entertaining the idea of taking a solo vacation to a hot, tropical destination next Christmas. 

But for this year, I’ll try to survive what I expect to be another Griswold-y Christmas before I literally kick everyone’s asses out my front door then say, “AND STAY OUT!” 

This is why I always look forward to a quiet, solo evening in front of my television during New Years Eve. I’m not even kidding. 


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