Dreamer

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I am a writer. I write a lot of fiction. I’m nowhere as good as I wish I was, but I try to be better every time I sit down at my computer or pick up a pen and paper. I’m old-school. I like notebooks and expensive pens. I find my creative side emerges when I chew on the end of a pen in contemplation.

Sometimes I spend entire days just thinking about what stories I want to write next. I take moments from life and I make stories around them. This is why I love to sit in airports, lounges, and other public venues to watch the unknown people around me. I imagine what their lives would be like and I make up stories that I think would suit them. Very rarely do I write about myself or others close to me. Once in a while, I will throw in a character that resembles someone I know, but they are always a fictionalized version of a person I’ve met.

I started working on my memoir a while ago, but I came to realize that a) memoir writing is hard and b) the memories of my past could hurt a lot of people. I am not the type of person to rock the boat. I prefer to sit on the fringes and observe. When something happens directly to me, I contemplate until I’m over it. Nothing much affects me. I’ve been told that I am strong and I am brave – I don’t know if I agree with that. I believe I’m a simple woman just trying to get through life like everyone else.

But I have a story. Actually I have a lot of stories inside of me, clawing to get out. Which is why I’ve decided to dedicate my summer to writing it all down. Every day I see something that conjures a story from within and I write down as many ideas as I can think of. I have dozens of notebooks with random musings laying around my office, waiting for me to create stories of the bits and pieces that lay dormant. Someday I hope to give life to those stories.

For now, I’m working on my newest story. It’s one of death, self-destruction, and a need to find answers. I hope this story resonates with people who are struggling to move on after losing someone precious. Once this story is done (are authors stories ever really done?), I will give it to the world and move on to the next one, hoping that someone somewhere will find value in my words.

Until then, I will be updating sporadically – I won’t be far away.

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